Repeat... and repeat again

Fin at 9 months, helping to unpack our new materials when they arrived last December

Finlay is lucky to have a daddy who is a professional musician. Not only is he constantly surrounded by beautiful live music, but for a role model he has a man who is dedicated to his practice. If he is absorbing Brent's self-discipline, Fin will be a very lucky boy. (Try to ignore mummy's tendency toward procrastination, Fin....)

"It takes 10,000 hours of practice to become really good at anything", Brent tells me. I thought he was exaggerating, but then I found an article which also claims truth to the statement!

I can't imagine dedicating that much of my time to any one thing. And then I look at Finlay, doing just that, right before my eyes. In the past year I have observed Fin working tirelessly, repeating over and over the movements and sounds which are his work of self-creation. Maria Montessori claimed that the entire foundation of a child's personality will be formed by the time they are 3 years old. I was amazed to discover that 10,000 hours equals roughly 3 years of waking hours for an infant. Co-incidence?!

'By repeating simple routine acts... children could acquire a sense of self as agent, able to independently carry out useful, meaningful actions in the world.'

Angeline Stoll Lillard, 'Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius'

Repetition is one of those things we look for in the Montessori classroom which indicate interest, concentration, and a connection between the child and the material, all of which are integral to true learning. It is absolutely magical to watch a child repeat an activity again and again, not for the sake of a particular outcome, but simply for the inner satisfaction gained in the 'doing'.

Ever since he was born, I have marveled at Fin's ability to repeat tirelessly, whether it be batting, reaching, grasping, pushing, rolling, creeping, crawling, pulling up, standing, walking, babbling (and countless other milestones). Whatever was the flavour of the day would be repeated and repeated from waking through to sleeping. It was as if he was simply unable to resist the inner drive to master himself. And of course, every human being begins their life in this way - what an amazing plan Mother Nature has installed in us!

I bring up this topic now because Finlay seems to have moved into a new phase of repetition; one that is more conscious and deliberate. He is also involving me more in his repetitive activities, whereas before he would most often disappear into a private place of contemplation (though he still spends much of his time in this state).

As an example, here are a few videos:

(Each of these is quite long - as repetition tends to be - so bear with me!)

The first is a video of Finlay at 3 months. Though subtle, there are many repetitive movements occurring - focusing visually on the hanging bells, pushing up with the arms, kicking the legs and trying to move forward. In this moment, his entire world is made up of those bells and the effort it takes to get to them. (Please excuse the less-than-perfect 'Prepared Environment' in the background... I don't know how my baby-brain ignored those ugly power cords for as long as I did! Maybe this explains Finlay's current passion for all things electrical and dangerous...?)

The second video is Finlay at 9 months, working with the Object Permanence Box (or Ball Game). The material itself calls for repetition through it's design - placing the ball in the hole and having it reappear down the ramp seems to be irresistible to children at this age (and adults too!). I love how the video reminds me that in this moment, Fin's exploration of the box itself is just as important as placing the ball in the hole. Only once he is finished maneuvering the box does he return to the 'intended' activity. Just another reminder to sit on my hands when I think Finlay isn't working with a material 'properly'!

The third video was taken just last week and shows Finlay's shift of focus from motor skills toward communication. Suddenly I'm part of the fun! He is so thrilled to have made himself understood, to be able to understand and follow directions, and to repeat the whole cycle over and over. Very soon, the aim is not to hold and touch the Buddha, it is simply the 'doing' that satisfies his inner need.

So if we know and accept that repetition is important to a young child's development, then how can we best assist them?

1. Providing rich motives of activity. Creating a beautiful, orderly environment filled with interesting objects intended for exploration is one of the most precious gifts you can give your child. You certainly don't need specially designed Montessori materials to encourage repetition (though they are designed to do so and are wonderful!). Simple everyday objects are fascinating to young children. For example: Fitting lids onto pots and pans, jars and containers; Opening and closing cupboards and drawers; Switching lights on and off; Turning pages in a book; Sweeping, mopping, scrubbing and wiping... to name just a few.

2. Allowing it to happen! It is so easy to overlook these precious moments, to storm in and interrupt. Though I'm sure I have unknowingly interrupted Finlay's moments of repetition from time to time, I try to make it a rule that before approaching him I always stand back for a moment to watch and see if he is busy with something. This can be really hard! We are so used to living our lives on our own timetables that it is difficult to slow down and allow these moments to reach their own conclusions (especially when we're running late for something and need to get out the door!).

Even applauding or congratulating a child will break them out of the spell. I try to behave as if I'm in some sacred place (museum, war memorial, church etc) where I would act with respect, dignity and reverence... not always easy to do in your own home :)

3. Having patience. This is especially important when the child includes you in the activity. Picking up the spoon when the child has dropped it for the hundredth time can be boring, even infuriating, but remembering how important it is from a developmental point of view helps give you the stamina to soldier on. I really had to force myself to continue being a part of Finlay's 'Buddha game' in the third video. I was fighting the part of my brain which wanted to plan dinner, another part that was wishing I could go make a cup of tea... but as far as Finlay was concerned, he had to feel like my entire focus was on him. Seeing his joy unfolding gave me all the incentive I needed.

All this repetition leads me to another of my favorite topics... concentration! But that's a post for another day :)

' "This repetition," says Montessori, "is a spontaneous phenomenon due to the child's interior energy - powerful and irresistible... we must respect this energy; help it; and give it the necessary direction to unfold itself." '

E. M. Standing, quoting Maria Montessori in 'Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work'

Let there be light

Didn't I promise a tour of our new house when we first moved in....? Well, that was back in November - three months ago! I've been putting it off, waiting to 'finish' arranging the furniture and Montessori materials into their 'perfect' places, but that's never really going to happen, is it? The entire house will always be a work in progress and I will have to continue adjusting the layout and content as the children's needs change. It never ends!

So here it is, our (not so new) light-filled house we were dreaming of way back when...

This is our lounge area. The daybed serves as our sofa (guests just have to get comfy and put their feet up!) and I find that the children love climbing up here to read books or throw themselves on the cushions. Finlay has a passion for opening and closing the windows and a few days ago he nearly climbed out (I literally had to catch him and pull him back in... heart-attack material!), so it's time for some safety latches that only allow them to open a safe distance.

We have materials on low shelves which I have been rotating from a full set in storage. Our speakers sit on top of the shelf and I usually play music through my iPod, though i would love to have a full stereo in here so the children would see actual CDs and LPs (remember those?!) going into the machine to be played. Whenever the music goes on, Finlay usually heads straight for the tray of instruments (on the bottom shelf, next to the chair) to play along :)

The mirror which used to be attached to the wall by Fin's bed is now in the lounge. I figured that he spends much less time in his bed now, and it is being used by all the children out in this space. The step-up is actually a toilet step, and is a new addition to this room since Finlay became obsessed with it last week. I would find him in the bathroom stepping up and down on it, and decided to move it out here where I could keep an eye on him without having to spend my entire day in the bathroom. Unwittingly, I placed it next to the mirror which has proved to be the best fun ever, since he gets to see his face appearing and disappearing each time he steps up or down. He has even started saying "Uppah" whenever he steps up!

Next to the mirror is the book shelf, where we keep just three or four books at a time. This makes it really easy for the children to return the books carefully to their place when they're finished. I have a big collection of books on a higher shelf close-by and we rotate them regularly.

The picture hanging above the books has proven to be troublesome because Finlay delights in pulling it off the wall at every opportunity. I'm sure that he will grow out of this phase eventually, but in the meantime I am finding it exhausting to constantly model 'looking' without touching, and rescuing the frame from the floor. Perhaps I should replace it with a laminated picture in the meantime? I would be very happy to hear advice on safely attaching pictures to the wall without making lots of holes (we're renting).

Opposite the mirror is our fireplace, ball tracker, balls and soft toys. These will all have to be relocated come winter time and replaced with a fire-guard. A few days ago I took away the soft toys because they were never being used. Perhaps they will be of more use when Finlay gets a bit older? The ball tracker, on the other hand, is a constant hit with all the children and I still find Fin repeating the activity over and over. He calls it "I did it". He'll point at it from across the room and say, "I did it", crawl over, put the ball in the hole and again cry out "I did it!". I find that amazing - I don't remember ever saying "You did it" or even "I did it" with this material, but somehow he has made the connection between those words and what he is doing. Incredible.

Looking from the lounge across to the kitchen, you can see why we chose this house. The space allows such great visibility from the kitchen, through the dining area and into the lounge. This allows me to cook, clean and supervise all at once. From the kitchen, a door leads out to the enclosed deck and a wonderful view of the garden. I'm still working on our outdoor environment, but for now the children are enjoying watering the plants and drawing on our black-board table.

Moving on to the dining area (I'm calling it this because I suppose we would have a dining table here if it weren't set up as a Montessori environment)... Off to the side I have put Fin's change table and potty station. I did this so that I would be able to remain in the room when changing nappies, and so that the potty would be visually connected to the change table. All his nappies, wet cloths and training pants are easily accessible and in the little cupboard we keep old thick pre-folds for mopping up accidents. I should also put a bucket here for Fin's wet pants so that when he is walking he will be able to participate in cleaning up his accidents. Ideally, we'll have this set up for each child (though space might be an issue...).

This is where the majority of our traditional Montessori toddler materials are kept. I should point out that I am not 0-3 trained (though I would love to be!) so I'm not sure if the layout would be considered 'correct'. I have tried to place the materials in groups according to their purpose, and also according to the space we have. Some things, like the cylinder blocks, just fit perfectly on that little shelf, so I placed them there. Other things, like the puzzles on the top shelf, have been arranged in order of difficulty. I then rotate materials as needed to maintain interest and according to their stages of development. The children eat at the little table and I am intending to set up the longer table (under the painting) as a food-preparation area. Our plates, glasses and cutlery are set up in the kitchen (a post for another day), and Miss. I is loving setting the table each time she is hungry. I must make some place-mats for her...

This painting was by my dad, by the way! At the moment, we have been using the long table for art but I'm hoping to dedicate a different table to art... where, I don't know. And the hand-washing table is waiting patiently for me to set it up beautifully. Maybe I'll wait until Finlay is walking properly...

Here is where we also have our fish tank (Fin's Christmas present) and some lovely shelves which were built into the old fireplace. Unfortunately the middle shelf is not adjustable and is

a bit high for toddlers but they're coping just fine with it.

Finally, this lovely space also has a shelf for my precious Montessori albums and our children's book collection.

So there you have it, our home as it stands today. It will probably be a bit different tomorrow. And different again next week. There are so many materials to make and activities to set up. I haven't even started on language materials and practical life is looking a bit sad and sorry in the kitchen, but these are all on my mental to-do list. I'll be sure to document my creations as they happen :)

A happy weekend to all! This ought to put a smile on any face...

A Balancing Act

What a wonderful Christmas and New Year break we have had! It seems like forever since I last wrote a post, and so much has been happening. Big stuff. Like standing up!

While my sister and her partner were here visiting a few weeks ago, Fin was experimenting with letting go of the furniture and balancing for a few seconds at a time. It was as if he would hold his breath for those seconds and couldn't quite believe he was really doing it! Then suddenly last week, almost to the day he turned 10 months, he just decided to stand up all by himself. No furniture required, thank you very much. As with all new tricks, this is ALL he wants to do right now and he is so very happy about his new achievement.

Sometimes I forget that my parenting philosophy is a little different to the mainstream. I have been reminded of this fact a few times these past few weeks when well-meaning friends try to help Fin to stand or walk by holding his hands and coaxing him along. 'But isn't that what everyone does?!' 'Isn't that what good parents do?' 'How can you just sit by and watch a baby struggling like this...?'

Yet, if I stepped in at this stage, grasped his hands and helped him to walk, would I really be assisting him to develop? Does he really need me at this moment? Or is it me, the parent, who needs to be needed?

Maria Montessori believed that a child's work is sacred (and learning to walk is indeed work!) and is not to be interrupted. It is in these moments of concentration and struggle that the harmonious personality is formed.

And if I do step in to 'help'...? All I do is simply replace his own strength and will with my own. One of three things might then happen:

1) He accepts the help but learns that he is not capable of standing or walking by himself and will rely on help from an adult in future.

2) He senses that he is not developing fast enough. By holding his hands and urging him along we send the message that he should be walking, when at this moment all he might be ready for is standing (or sitting, or crawling...). Or

3) He fights against the help and sees it for what it is - an obstacle to his development.

All of these reactions have long-reaching consequences for the child's developing personality, because this isn't just about walking. This is about the way we see our child and the way our child sees himself. Each experience a child has, especially at this very young age, is absorbed into their whole being. If we can raise children who feel confident in their abilities and who know from experience what will come of sustained effort, imagine what amazing adults we will gift the world.

I do have a little giggle when I see Finlay wiggle away from a well-meaning 'helper' to find some clear space where he can practice this new skill all by himself. He gets this expression on his face as if to say, "What are you doing? Get out of my way so I can show you my new trick!".

So how can we help? There are many things we can do to assist a child in their development of movement. We can provide low furniture for pulling up, safe space for practicing, warm encouragement (without cheer leading - a warm smile is often enough), a safe lap and cuddle to retire to when they need it, and freedom from restraints like playpens, exer-saucers, walkers, bouncers etc. These do not teach children to walk, in fact they place them in unnatural physical positions, merely teaching them not to explore. Finally, we can find the patience and inner strength to sit and truly observe our child, marveling at these miraculous milestones while allowing him find joy in his own experience.

Sure enough, a few days after that first video I captured this one:

Joy and pride personified!

It is necessary for the teacher to guide the child without letting him feel her presence too much, so that she may always be ready to supply the desired help, but may never be the obstacle between the child and his experience.

(Dr. Maria Montessori)